Is it possible to keep the peace when planning your wedding… without giving in… and still get your dream wedding?

Absolutely… when you follow these steps.

In many cases the process of planning a wedding is a lot like a marriage itself. Often times the key to a truly successful wedding is compromise.

Sure, there are some lucky couples who are able to pull off a wedding with little, if any, problems. They have no conflicts with friends or family members… just smooth sailing. However, most couples experience at least a small amount of stress and upset from the involvement or expectations of others while planning their wedding. This is natural.

These types of problems and disagreements can often happen when there are too many people trying to make decisions. Or when the couple is trying to please everyone.

Let’s take a look at some situations when wedding planning can get complicated. More importantly, we’ll discuss some strategies to keep the peace in your wedding planning, without giving in. Or giving up!

Who’s Paying For The Wedding?

One of the most common wedding planning problems occurs when the parents of the couple are helping to plan. In past traditions, the bride’s family paid for the wedding. Although in more modern times the families of grooms are beginning to share this financial responsibility. Or the bride and groom-to-be pay for the wedding themselves.

While this change has certainly made wedding planning easier from a financial aspect, logistically it has made wedding planning much more challenging.

This is because with the more traditional scenario, the bride and her family, especially the mother, would shoulder the responsibility of making most of the decisions during the process of planning the wedding. But with the family of the groom contributing financially as well, his family often feels as though they should have some input into the decision making process as well. And rightly so. So this complicates things because now there are more people involved, each with their own thoughts, opinions and preferences.

The easiest way couples can avoid this problem is to pay for their own wedding. That way, nobody has the right to feel as though they should be included in all decisions simply because they’re paying for it.

This isn’t always ideal though as many parents want to help pay for the wedding and may be insulted if they weren’t allowed to do so. Whenever it’s not ideal to exclude the parents financially it is essential to make them feel as though their input is welcomed. But it’s also important to make it clear that you won’t allow them – or anyone else – to dominate the decision making process.

Making compromises will be key to keeping everyone happy.

Friends Of The Bride Or Groom:

Sometimes problems are created by close friends who aren’t involved in the wedding financially too. This often occurs when they wrongly assume their opinions are wanted. They attempt to influence the couple in making important decisions. This may be because they played a role like this in the bride’s or groom’s life previously, so they become hurt if their suggestions aren’t considered now.

Again, prevention is the best strategy here. Couples need to talk to close friends and family members before the wedding planning begins. This gives them a chance to clarify the type of input they expect from them. This sets clear boundaries before things get out of control and feelings get hurt.

What To Do When Prevention Wasn’t Taken?

In situations where this preventive step wasn’t taken and a close friend has assumed their input will be appreciated, the couple needs to make some firm decisions. Most likely, they won’t want to exclude the close friend (or friends) completely. That’s fair enough. However, they can steer their friend towards decisions which aren’t major.

For example, a bride may ask her best friend to assist in making decisions such as selecting a nail colour. Perhaps they can choose the wrapping paper for the wedding favours. These are simple tasks that won’t affect the big day in a large way.

This helps the friend to feel included in the plans. But because the decisions made on these issues don’t significantly impact the overall appearance of the wedding, it’s often easier for the bride and her friend to agree, or compromise.

Wedding Planners:

Often couples hire a wedding planner to make life easier for them. However, sometimes they end up making things more difficult. This is especially so if the wedding planner is overly pushy and doesn’t truly listen to the couple. They may make important decisions in a way that upsets the couple or whereby the couple feels they’re not in control of their wedding.

If this happens, the couple should meet with their wedding planner as soon as possible. Don’t put it off any longer than is necessary.

They should discuss these issues, make changes to decisions that have already been made and create a plan to avoid similar problems with any future decisions. If problems continue after this conversation it may be necessary to find a new wedding planner who is a better match for the couple.

A good wedding planner offers suggestions, but listens to what YOU want.

Keep The Peace When Planning Your Wedding;

Although it can be challenging at times, if you follow these suggestions they’ll help you to keep the peace when planning your wedding. Remember to enjoy the process and have fun too!

For help planning your wedding photography, read our article that explains what to look for in a wedding photographer. Then contact us to make sure you find the right photographer for your wedding.