Should you write your own vows?

The thought of having to write your own vows can truly be overwhelming. Admittedly, it’s a huge task to come up with the right words, to sum up your promises, dreams, and love, and do it all in a clear, succinct, and sincere manner. 

That is not to discourage you from doing it, however. In fact, I want this blog to light a fire under you and inspire you to take this opportunity to tell your love story, allow your guests a peek into what makes your relationship succeed, your promises and intentions, and express your deepest feelings towards your intended, with your friends and family as witnesses.

In a traditional wedding, engaged couples have very little say over a lot of the words spoken during the marriage ceremony. Nowadays, as unconventional weddings become more of a thing, it is becoming much easier to customize and shape what is said during the ceremony (within certain established parameters, of course).

Making your wedding vows intimate and personal serve to make your wedding more heartfelt, dramatic, and memorable. 

But what to do once you’ve decided to write your own vows?

Discuss with Your Wedding Officiant Beforehand 

This may seem like a no-brainer, but believe me when I say that not many people remember to do it. If you want to write your own wedding vows, talk to your Officiant first to understand the rules and guidelines. Your wedding officiant will usually give you some pointers to help you write your own vows. Furthermore, the Officiant will inform you of which part of the ceremony the vows will be said.

What to Say

Your vows can include promises like “I swear to do…,” heartwarming messages you want to say to each other, or even your hopes and aspirations for your future together. You could also combine all these to further enhance your message. While cultural norms may vary, as a rule of thumb, the wedding vow should not be too lengthy. Keep it brief but sincere and meaningful. You may want to consider writing it on a piece of paper and reading it during the ceremony, rather than memorizing it, to minimize the stress it will place on you. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Sentimental

This is not the time to feel self-conscious about being cheesy or corny. If you mean it, the words will never be cheesy. Take inspiration from songs, movies, books, and poems. Use a favorite line from a movie or song to express your feelings. Consider children’s books and media as they have an amazingly pure way of conveying deep, complex emotions in an uncomplicated manner – perfect for a wedding message.

Inject Humor

I’m not saying you should say something that would cause extreme hilarity from your intended or guests, as that would be a little too much. Just adding a hint of levity would make your message more interesting. Making your significant other smile and even chuckle during your ceremony will be a wonderful and interesting way to start your marriage.

Practice, Practice, Practice

The only way to ensure that everything sounds perfect is to rehearse. Reading your vows out loud will help you identify areas to be improved, such as where the grammar might be dicey or where you need to be more cohesive.

It is a good idea to practice your wedding vows before the big day. While there are really no rules to reading vows, a well-practiced, sincere delivery of the vow will undoubtedly leave an impression on your partner and those present at the ceremony. Excessively lengthy vows will be remembered less and would end up being quite uninteresting to your guests. 

D-Day

Keep your cool when reciting your vows at the wedding. Don’t get too tense as that will get you to speak too quickly. Your wedding vow is such an essential part of the ceremony that it would be best to take your time during the delivery. Relax so that even if you miss a line or two, you can just say something that comes from the heart. Consider keeping a written version of your vows at hand, if you wish. 

 
What do you think? Are you now comfortable enough to start working on your vows? Wonderful! 

Best wishes for your wedding, and may the sweet words you exchange during your vows stay in your heart, far beyond your wedding day.